Friday, April 8, 2011

Government Shutdown...Do You Really Wanna See My Granny's Frying Pan?

                  Update - So obviously the government managed to come together in time. But I still think they need a Southern granny 'cause they sure do take an awful lot of time to do their chores.

               So the US government is in danger of shutting down, huh? And yet, I mailed those pesky estimated tax payments just this morning. Because while the government may be able to have “issues”, us dang taxpayers, well, we just keep paying or else. Anybody besides me find the whole thing so irritating that it makes your family seem sainted in comparison? I mean, c’mon, there are thousands of families out there who have managed to work on their “issues” without dragging the innocent into it. Maybe what the gubmint needs is a doggone Southern granny dragging y’all by the ear and tellin’ y’all to work it out or she’ll take the frying pan to your noggins!
                    I’m also wondering if this separation means when you come back to us, you’ll have worked on your “issues” and be ready to do your share of the housework? See just about every one of us has some story about you, and most of them would embarrass your grannies.
                    Let me share one that is particularly pertinent at tax season. We realized that Daddy was declining mentally when we got a notice from the IRS. It seems that Daddy had done his taxes incorrectly that year. The IRS in its good graces had redone them. Only problem was that they made it worse. I sat down and redid his taxes, filling out all the correct paperwork and notifying them in the required timely manner that we were disputing. That’s when the government threatened a lien on my elderly parents for the god awful amount of $77 that they were so sure my parents owed. Another flurry of phone calls, and they paused the process, bless their hearts. Finally we receive a check – for the $1800 that the government really owed my parents. Never did get an apology or an oopsies from them.
                    So if you shut down, how about attending therapy while we are separated? You can work on your “issues” and learn certain kindergarten rules like sharing and playing well together. Just don’t bill me for the therapy…because I can guarandamtee you that I will dispute it…or bring my frying pan to DC.


  1. I wonder how they (Congress) can get paid and let the Military hang. How are the Military families supposed to support themselves...oh yeah...on that tax refund that will be delayed. I think I'll get my Mama's cast iron frying pan and head and up to DC with Evelyn.

  2. Well, since Granny is dead, visions of zombies come to mind...oh, wait, I'm confusing zombies with Congress...I did inherit the frying pan, though, and I know my way to DC. I say we have the million cast iron frying pan march!

  3. I like the idea of The Million Cast Iron Frying Pan March. Just don't forget to season those frying pans good, we don't want none o' they're mess a stickin' to us! Bless their hearts!

  4. Well since there sure is a lot of pork being handed out in DC, I feel sure we can find some seasoning for the frying pans...

  5. Well Congress and the House say they're tying to trim the fat...I see a lot of pork bellies in our future!


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