The Hypothesis of the Right Pointer Dude

Every morning I take both boys to school. First one gets dropped off at the Freshman Academy. Then I loop around the elementary school, and take the older son to the main high school. There is a gentleman who stands at the entrance to the car line at the main high school. He stands there and points the way to go. When you drive in, you can either choose to go to the right or to the left. The right leads to a parking area, and the left leads towards the main office, and the cafeteria where most kids get dropped off. Because there are so many cars bringing their teenagers, he points us to head our cars to our right, his left. He basically is standing there, blocking the way from someone turning to the left. Why? Because the cars loop around the parking area forming a line. And sadly, there's always someone who wants to cut in line. I've watched him at times as I've slowly made my way through the line. I've watched him vigorously point to the line as someone tries to inch past him in the hopes of heading to the left, at other times stepping further forward blocking the way, and at times talking to someone explaining why they can't go the easier, quicker way (apparently some things are NOT self evident).

I have to say I find it a little sad, that grownups have to be reminded that they shouldn't cut in line. What? Did you flunk elementary school? I also find it a small microcosm of society. We seem to have become very focused on what we want or need to the exclusion of others, for instance the others who got there earlier and are snaking their way through the line you think you should get to avoid. 

Now I have to admit, I have no overwhelming desire to be a martyr. I don't like to wait in the line anymore than they do. I like to sit down, I like to watch tv, read a book, knit, have a lovely conversation with someone, eat a Krispy Kreme, and then remember my diet... But I seem to have been cursed, err blessed with an overabundance of the "get 'er done" gene. I also seem to have that whole responsibility thing. It's why it's taken me so long to write another blog - responsibilities and priorities. I believe in taking my turn when it is a single line formation (not when you're on a multi-lane road, and everyone is lined up behind a semi - why not pass in that wide open lane - it's sorta what the other lane is for - but that's a whole different blog entry sometime). 

So every day when I pass the right pointer dude, I try to give a little wave. No trouble from me, I'll get in line as I should, wait my turn, tell my kids to get out posthaste, don't dawdle (I need to find a cooler vocabulary). And every week, there's a new adventure - somebody who tries hard to find a way around the rules. I must say a big thank you for the lecture time - because I end up discussing with my kids what SELF-ENTITLEMENT means, and why it isn't their right to try to cut in front of people who have been WAITING THEIR TURN IN SINGLE LINE FORMATION. Maybe it's just me, but I seem to see an awful lot of "gotta have it now", "it's my right" kinda stuff. No where in the CONSTITUTION is it a right to cut in line, text in the left lane while driving, or get the latest iPhone...but thanks for the examples to my kids...let's hope they get it.

The Therapy of Driving...

Ok, I've never pretended to like taking my kids to school. Even they know it's something I really don't enjoy. Yeah, I know I should've been less vocal. But this way the therapist will have something to talk to them about.

"Why do you think your mother hated taking you to school? Do you think it was because she would miss you terribly while you were away?"

"Nope. I think she just thought people drove like they had their head up their @ss."

Hmm, therapy might not cost so much after all.

I am not the world's best driver, despite my constant lectures to the sixteen year old about what is and what isn't proper driving. I can say that I have been ticket and accident free for quite some time (knock on wood). But I've got to give some credit to my guardian angel, and some to the fact that I do not find my iPhone to NEED my constant care and feeding.

The count this morning on the way to the high school:

One broken down car in the middle lane (bless their heart, we've all been there).

One wreck in the middle lane (bless their heart, we've all been there). Though I do wonder - was someone looking too long at the broken down car, and didn't stop in time? I remind the boys - look at the road, not at the scenery.

One car straddled two lanes until I honked my horn (Something I try not to do frequently. Never know how pissed off it might make somebody). Then she decided on my lane. Oh, joy.

One car that at every light would swerve when he started off. How do I know? I was behind him at several. See there are TEN lights between our home and the high school plus a bridge over a major interstate. You get to share a lot of together time with some other drivers. I suspect he was surfing his phone at every light and when the light changed, it was a little difficult to put down the phone, and drive off in your own lane. To his credit once he got going he seemed fine. Until the next light...

And that's not an all encompassing list.

See the thing about taking them to school, is the traffic. If the other cars would just stay home, it wouldn't be so bad. Or I could homeschool them. Now THAT would really pay a therapist well. Wonder if they give a discount to mothers? Oh, well. At least it's Friday...wait, they're in the marching band. That means I get to take them and pick them up on Saturday, too. Sigh...I love those kids. Obviously.

The Real American Horror Story

  I posted one of those funny e-card pictures on my Facebook yesterday. It was so totally me. The caption reads, "All spring and summer she was a graceful, classy lady...then football season started." I am a huge football fan. I've gone to games at my alma mater all my life - helps explain my choice of college when you find out that it was also my Daddy's alma mater. In fact so many family members went there we oughta have a wing named after us - except we ain't rich - especially after paying tuition. And when football season starts it's often like a family reunion. Parents, kids, cousins, grandparents all converge to watch a game. And it's probably like that at every college - a family event.
  I've watched the Jerry Sandusky horror show with horror. Part of my horror comes from the involvement of my favorite sport, part from the involvement of a school I have always admired, part from the involvement of a coach (Joe Paterno) I had always admired, but most of my horror comes from being a mother and a human being. How could anyone do this to a child? How could anyone not make sure the highest possible punishments were handed out to such a monster?
  My 14 year old son is off this week backpacking in the mountains. It's an adventure arranged by the Boy Scouts, and he's actually not with a single person I know until he gets picked up to return home. Talk about a leap of faith sending your kid someplace - this was it for me. I did try to talk to him about sexual abuse before he left. Of course when he was young, and through the years, we've always had the talks about appropriate touching. But I thought one more was in order. He very quickly assured me that he's read the articles, he's aware of the situation and nothing like this would happen to him. All assurances were given with that certain arrogance of youth, i.e. the eye roll, which was meant to assuage my concern. Yeah, right.
  We send our children to activities in the hope that they will meet friends, learn something, have fun...and to be honest sometimes to give ourselves a break. But these activities are mecca to the pedophiles. A large gathering of their potential victims, and they are predators. They know who to target, and how to target them. Every organization where youth gather has had this horror hit them - churches, youth groups, schools, and so on.
I do a fair bit of volunteer work. A couple of years ago, I joked that the State Bureau of Investigation might be getting tired of me. See I had three background checks done in the same month - Boy Scouts, our church, and our school district. I passed since they weren't interested in other housewives opinions of my clothing or how fast I drove at 18. I may have joked about it, but in reality it is no laughing matter. Background checks are a necessary evil because of the evil in society, and yet no background check would have picked up on Sandusky - BECAUSE HE HAD NEVER BEEN ARRESTED! It's also pretty easy to skirt the background check if you are the founder of the group, and perceived as a "good man". So many of the criminals have not been caught.
  I can, and have ridden on activity buses, spent the night chaperoning, driven youth group kids in my own car, and on and on. It makes me sound so unselfish when in reality, it's purely selfish on my part. Good luck getting to my kid when I'm there. I may be short, but I would take you down in a heartbeat, trust me. Along the way, I can also tell you that I'm keeping an eye on your kid.
  My hope is that out of this will come improved processes to prevent such abuse. The Boy Scouts now have processes in place which require yearly training of volunteers such as myself along with a requirement that NO leader is alone with a Scout unless that Scout is the leader's own child. I do not think that Penn State's football program should receive the death penalty from the NCAA (the NCAA is the governing body for college athletics and the death penalty ends the sport for the school). What happened there was not a result of payments to players or tutors cheating for players, and sadly what happened there could happen at any institution unless all of us work on stopping it.  
  Volunteer, know who is involved with your kids, watch, drop in unexpectedly, and pray. Each of us should have a responsibility here, our children deserve no less.  

Society Needs to Be Shot

Good grief, I'm tired! Makes it a little hard to think of something to write. Between the rain (I'm a ridiculously light sleeper), the hot flashes (which aren't hot for near as long as they are clammy), and the number of projects I'm trying to get done before chaperoning the 8th grade trip to Florida this month....did I mention being tired?


So I'm trying to write a blog this morning, and I thought...and thought...and thought...what do I want to focus on....


But then the news mentioned a shooting at a psychiatric hospital in Pittsburgh...


Now before I get gun owners all in an uproar, I'm typing this in a room with guns. I'm as Southern as they come, and with that came the target practice as a youth, the guns in every house I visited, the men talkin' hunting. I thought pickup trucks came with a gun rack just like they did with mud flaps. In fact we made the mistake of scheduling our wedding on the opening day of deer season in Tennessee. Quite a few men who did not make the wedding showed up for the reception, thankfully freshly showered. 


What strikes me about every shooting we hear of is - how did we become a society that thinks we can solve our problems by murder? People piss me off every day. If you've ever heard me talk about carrying the kids to school or been with me in the car lane at school, you've gotten to see it first hand. But, it's never occurred to me to shoot the people who take all day to drop their kid off or text in the car pool line.


Why are we failing so miserably at conflict resolution, at helping those who need it? What can we do differently? It's not just teenagers...it's society...there's a Southern saying - "just oughta be shot" - I heard this all the time growing up. It was a comment on how stupid or ridiculous something was. But nobody ever did it...unless you were a deer...  

As SpongeBob states – “I’m Ready, I’m Ready…………..”

Brace yourselves parents it's coming… D-day is nearly here for most of us, and we are counting down. I have the celebratory wine chilling in the fridge, and the 20 million water bottles ready and waiting to go in the garage. School is nearly starting other than for one teeny, tiny obstacle to be overcome. We still have to run the back-to-school supply list gauntlet.

This mania has Black Friday beat. I am convinced that shops everywhere are bracing themselves for this week. Every year I swear to myself, God, or indeed anyone who will listen to me over the age of 18, that I will not lose control in Staples or Target. I pledge that I will NOT swear uncontrollably to the innocent shop assistant if they do not have anymore three holed pocket folders in bright pink. I will control my facial expressions, keep them 'poker faced ', when my son insists that the most expensive calculator will help him achieve higher marks in his math class. I will resist stamping my feet like a 5 year old because they only have clear glue and not white as my daughter cries uncontrollably since she is sure she will be making slime in science this year. No, I will not panic as I fight through the crowds to purchase endless reams of loose leaf paper only to find the lucky ones had scooped up the precious college ruled packs, leaving me to console my 14 year old that he will not look like a nerd with wide ruled. After all, what are a few millimeters between friends?

Pencils are another story - 2HB is the call of the schools. Great, they are everywhere, but this Shakespearean sonnet sound-alike is a minefield. Do you get the cheapest knowing that within one day your well supplied child will have mislaid them, and also knowing that every single one does not sharpen as its lead that has been shattered into a million pieces, probably by the aforementioned shop assistant, who had dropped the whole case whilst being chased by an over eager parent? Or, do you go for the technical, mechanical ones which are for the most part a huge NO-NO, and just let your child be the one who gets labeled as 'the one with the parent who cannot read the list properly'.

Pink erasers this year seem to be necessary. What happened to white or are we now trying to be politically correct and pink is the new in? However, there is a plus to this; at least the pencils seem to all come with pink erasers on top. Yes, I know they will become a daily part of my children's diet as they munch on them in class (the granola bars just don't taste the same) but who cares, I am focusing on my parent-of-the-year award for having the right supplies.

Then once we are done with the stationary side of things, we find ourselves moving onto the sanitary section. Oh how we love our germ-free schools. The fear factor is before us. It shouts "your child needs these items - Cleanliness is next to Godliness!". I agree for the most part, and I do pity our poor teachers as they battle with germ-infested children but, seriously, do I really need to supply tissues, hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes and much more? Can we not just wrap them up in a self-sanitizing body suit, give them a facial mask, surgeon's gloves, and have a heat (fever) detector installed on all the main entrances? After all, isn't that how airports do it? Better still, lets jab them as they enter with flu shots. You may laugh, but in England, when I was a child, we all lined up for the BCG vaccine (Tuberculosis), and like sitting ducks we sweated as the end of the line neared. A little of what we had to go through may be a good learning curve for our precious ones. If all parents clubbed together the money, we are to spend on these products, we could afford those sensors I am sure!

So what is a parent to do? Already as I write this, I can feel the stress rising. No, I am not going to let it get me! I am going to get my coffee, combine my lists (2 children, 2 lists), and face the day like a combat soldier, and for those of you who have already successfully planted your kids back in school, and completed the gauntlet, I tip my hat to you. Sit back and heave a sigh of relief. Pity my pain. Hindsight is a glorious state of mind.

Sending Sick to School

You could probably tell from my article about sending kids to school sick ("To Send or Not to Send") that I was fairly emotional about the topic. With flu season around the corner, I am stressed already that my children, God forbid, will get sick again. This school year I have already received 2 of those ‘letters’ even though we had sorted out the problem with the first that arrived. I really have broken a personal best! I mean, are we really at threat of being sent to jail because our children don’t live up to the system’s healthy expectations, or do you think like me that it is too extreme a threat?

I have on a few occasions sent them to school with a sniffle and quite honestly felt guilty, but what can you do? Someone somewhere has devised this grand plan of attendance percentages, and Mr. or Mrs. Jobs-Worth implements it, giving no thought to the reality that our schools are like public gathering places for germs to latch onto on another and spread the good word so to speak. Am I alone in feeling that this is an issue within the system that needs to be re-addressed? Anyone got any amazing ‘sick’ stories to tell? Or are you a teacher that has a view on this? I would love to hear from your side, too. Do you mind having sick kids in your classes, or would you prefer the parents keep them at home?

Joy to the World - School Projects

So raise your hand if your child has a project due at school and you're trying to start thinking about the holidays...yep, timing really is everything. The essay, "Four Words to Ruin the Day" is basically my frustration over projects. First the disclaimer, I am all for education. Whew, now that I have that covered, here are a few holiday time project suggestions, and I'd love for each of you to add your own suggestions:

1 - Your child should demonstrate problem solving - have your child determine what your mother-in-law REALLY wants for Christmas.
2 - Your child should demonstrate creativity - have your child come up with a decent present for his/her mother. Points will be deducted if it has to be plugged in (unless a smart phone or MP3).
3 - Your child should demonstrate patterns and colors - have your child decorate the whole house in one day while singing carols...without developing new vocabulary...you know the words your husband uses when stringing the lights.
4 - Your child should demonstrate organizational skills - have your child arrange family holiday visits across three states and several blended families. Anything less than ten complaints will receive a grade of A+.

Any others - just looking to help out the school system here...So what helpful holiday projects would you like to see assigned this season?