We Need To Help......

Last Saturday was the first time I have experienced the effects of extreme weather. Coming from the UK, the worst I can ever remember occurring was back in 1987. Winds tore with unusual ferocitiy, throughout the land, bringing down six of the seven ancient oak trees in a town called Sevenoaks and closing a major bridge between England and Wales. Thousands of homes were without power but nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared this Brit for last weekend in North Carolina. I can honestly say that I was scared to my bones.

Somewhere deep inside this maternal core, whilst watching a movie with my children, an alarm bell went off. My concentration had been disrupted by the wind outside. It seemed to come in waves, blowing powerfully one minute, and eerily quiet the next. Much to the dismay of my kids, I told them to turn to the local weather station, and there before me was the news. One huge tornado had ripped through Raleigh and another was aiming for Smithfield as we watched. We were like sitting ducks. Our town, Clayton, was literally in the middle of the two paths. I quickly moved blankets, torches and chips (yes chips and don’t ask me why because I don’t know) into the internal bathroom, scooped up my temporarily wheelchair bound daughter from the sofa and pushed my son head first into the room. It was panic; I was new to this tornado preparation stuff. We sat waiting but nothing happened, luckily we were safe, but my heart is still heavy. Many people lost their lives and loved ones that day, homes were destroyed, and possessions chewed up like pieces of candy. Amazing stories of survival are all around. Today, for instance, I listened to a news broadcast about a group of people who were stuck in a church after celebrating a child’s first birthday. They had remained to clear up and did not realize what was about to happen. Miraculously, the only part of the church left untouched was the corridor in which they were huddled. Now to me that is divine intervention!  

The question remains though, what can we do to help? It seems only a few weeks ago I was writing about the earthquake in Japan, asking for your prayers and aid where possible. Ironically, here I am this time in North Carolina, again asking you to do the same. I know many people who have volunteered to go and help with the clean up, but the people need so much more. I urge you to go onto the local news channels and seek out ways to donate and help. There are families out there that have lost everything, including loved ones; they need to know the community is behind them. On Sunday, whilst we celebrate Easter, please don’t forget to say a prayer for the victims of this local disaster, I know I will be.

www.wral.com

www.news14.com

www.salvationarmycarolinas.org/

Getting Through by Mary Alford-Carman

I got a call from an acquaintance who read “Inside An Empty Womb,” the essay I wrote for our 4gaby.com online magazine and I was touched beyond belief. We had worked together during the summer for the U.S. Census and had briefly connected, sharing our thoughts on motherhood, working and juggling schedules. She didn’t know that I had gone through the infertility process, and she was going through it for the second time around. Her first attempts were similar to mine, but she did have a child who is now a five-year-old son. They want to have another baby, and the process, while still daunting, has them excited for the future.

What caught her attention in my essay was the mention of mood swings and of the loss of a baby so dreamed about and wanted. She told me that reading the words left her feeling validated. She still mourned a loss that no one ever saw, but felt that given the opportunity she wouldn’t have changed a thing. In the day-to-day of parenting, the loss of a baby before term had made her more grateful for the child she hugs today. She, too, had those who made comments that were less than compassionate after her loss. I asked her how she handled it and she told me most of the time she just walked away. There were times when she really had to bite her tongue, because she just couldn’t deal with their lack of kindness along with her loss.

We all go through horrific hard times in life, and many times we find the support we need around us. When we don’t, it shocks and causes hurt. Have you ever been in a situation where the support you hoped for wasn’t there, or worse still, was insensitive? How did you handle it? Who helped you through it?  Sometimes, when the chips are really down, who can you rely on to “get it” and help you get through?