Friday, March 18, 2011
Diary of an Angry Stay-At-Home-Mom
By Mary Alford-Carman
When I wrote Virtual Reality, I touted the pros of Facebook. During our family's last two months of illness, colds, flu, pneumonia and C-diff, Facebook kept my friends and family informed and people came to our rescue. They dropped off food, offered to run errands and kept us in good cheer. My husband was a wonder. He remained healthy during all but the last week of illness and he helped out tremendously, taking off five total days of work to help out including the one day to recoup from his illness. Through the majority of it, I stayed home sick and caring for my family, but guess who got the praise?
In our last blog Sheilah wrote about women not getting the same pay for the same duties, and honestly, it works the same at home. As a stay-at-home-mom, taking care of sick kids comes with the territory, and yes, it comes with the territory that you take care of your children even when you are sick. I don't expect praise for doing my job, but acknowledgement would be nice. That's why I sort of blew up when praise was given to my husband for taking off work to take care of his family. He deserved the praise, but dang it, what was he supposed to do? He's a good man, and a good man always comes through, but don't think I was eating bon-bons and schlepping around for the duration of my family's illness.
I've come to the conclusion that it's just the way of our society. Things really haven't changed all that much. Stay at home and you equate to less than when you try to get back in the workforce. Stay at home and you're expected to somehow be less than others who work outside the home. You know what I'm saying. Go to a party and you get the standard, "What do you do?" When you answer homemaker, mommy, chef, etc., watch their eyes glaze over. Well, I'm angry as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.
Why are the SAHM's dismissed so? I'm not trying to start a mommy war, pitting the SAHM's against the Moms who work outside of the home. We all have a full plate. But when a man gets more credit for doing what a SAHM does day in and day out, it chaps my buttocks.
It's bad enough that we don't get what we deserve in the workforce, but to be put down or ignored at home is simply unacceptable. A study on http://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard showed the dollar value of a SAHM would be over $117,000. The mom who works outside the home can add up to $71,000. onto her take-home pay. I think it's time society ponied up and gave the SAHMs and all MOMS the credit they deserve. I might just have to start a movement on Facebook. In the meantime, I'm waiting for my paycheck.