Marriage, Laundry and the Evening News

It used to be that I refused to watch the evening news before I went to bed at night. I just didn’t want to go to sleep with some of the images from the news running a loop in my head, but now it’s getting so I might as well not turn the TV on at all. The news is the very least of the awful things that are out there. I mean, who wants to go to sleep with visions of Snooky burping on your mind? With every click of the remote it seems we’re subjected to someone’s dirty laundry and I’m getting sick in the spin cycle. My column, “It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding,” about Kim Kardashian’s wedding was just the icing on the cake, and boy was that cake expensive!

JLo and Marc have split! Oh the horror! Snooky has a line of slippers selling like hotcakes, the Beverly Hills Real Housewife star has pictures of herself grieving the suicide of her husband while she’s wearing a black bikini; and to that I just throw my hands up in the air and let my left eye commence to twitching. There was a time when “Don’t air your dirty laundry” was almost a commandment, and while the truth will set you free, I think we’ve gone from one extreme to the other. It’s about headlines, marketing and ratings now, and little else. Wanna revive a stalling career? Easy, just get a reality show or be on one. Do these celebrities really believe that there is no such thing as bad publicity? (Where some are concerned, I use the term celebrity loosely.)

I remember when advocacy groups were up in arms over Teletubbies. Tinky Winky must be gay! Oh heavens. Where are these groups when it comes to “Bridezillas” and “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”? Have you watched the way these people talk to their prospective husbands, their mothers, their family and friends? Give me Tinky Winky any day. We may not know his sexual identity, but I love his purse. In the meantime you can call me old fashioned. I believe marriage should be based on love and respect and that it takes work.  I believe that good taste never goes out of style, but being a spectacle will always haunt you and that Don Henley was right on the money when he wrote “Dirty Laundry.”

I'd Like Some Testosterone, To Go.

Writing about the Mommy Club experience in Exit, Stage Right got my wheels turning and made we ponder why some women are so, well, mean. Some days it's enough to make me wish I were a man. Yep, you read that right. I had the very good fortune to work at a company with a large group of men and one very lovely lady. What I learned about men while working there amazed me.


The men gossiped, but they did it out in the open, right in front of the person they were talking about. "Hey Ted, heard you and the Mrs. are having trouble, that true?" Wow! The female gossips I've met have never given the person they were gossiping about the chance to refute or clarify a situation. In the course of a day there were differing opinions on everything from work ethic to sports, to how to properly set up a household budget and keep the family happy, and not one man got angry, stormed off or stopped talking to another. Gulp. Can you imagine? There were some moments when arguments were heated, but at the end of the day it was "Nite Ted, see ya in the morning." 


I have this silly idea (since we're all women and we know the heavy loads we carry in our society) that we could support each other with the nurturing instinct that so many of us have in spades. We could disagree, but not judge because we differ. No name calling, no back-biting, and none of this "I'm better than her because..." caca. Oh Utopia! We women wear so many hats (yeah, yeah, I know the men do too, but I'm talking women here), professional, mother, sister, friend, Girl Friday, care-giver, housekeeper, social co-coordinator, and so on. With all we do it's a dirty rotten shame that some women can't stand in one area together without an episode of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” breaking out.  I'm thinking the solution might just be that we just need a little more testosterone in our diets.


How do you handle situations with "mean" women?
Have you ever maliciously gossiped about someone knowing it would hurt them?
Ever felt like you were back in high school all over again?
Let the debate begin.