Friday, May 20, 2011

Mary’s Un-Merry Month of May

By Mary Alford-Carman

Oh heaven help me get through this month with all my hair still attached to my head and without that pesky twitch in my eye. It's the last full month of school and I can't wait for it to be over. The gear-up in August is bad enough with supply lists that are never given when the tax free weekend arrives, the hunt for school clothes and the open house/meet and greet the teachers evening. May, however, makes me want to run to the local church, light a bazillion candles and beg for mercy.

The End of Grade tests come first with the wonderful school note that states your child should get a good night's rest and eat a proper breakfast prior to testing days. I guess the rest of the school year it doesn't really matter how late they go to bed or if you feed your children at all. After the End of Grade tests come the End of Course tests. What is this, college? Then there is the spring concert, the eighth grade dance, the awards/graduation ceremony and field day. The letters for volunteers triple in May. Can you proctor for the tests, make brownies for the dance, and could you chaperone for the field day and dance? With a thirteen-year-old daughter, the hunt for a dance dress is turning into a quest for some ideal I'm not sure exists. Then there is the uniform for the band. Have you tried to find black pants in May?

When I look around at the other moms in the car pool lane, they all have the same glazed look on their faces. List after list, permission slip after permission slip and fee after fee, fly back and forth from school, to home, and back to school, like birds on cocaine. It's almost as if the schools have made May "Mommy Challenge Month". Can you do all you normally do and add this in too? It's scary out there and you know something is gonna plop down on you if you don't keep it together. If I lose my calendar, I'll be lost and heading for the padded cell.

It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that I love my child and I'll do what is necessary to make sure she has what she needs. I just wish it didn't hurdle towards me like an out of control whirling dervish all within one month. There are only a few days left before the month is over. I think I'll head to the church now.


  1. You nailed it! May is ....whew! Here's what I don't get. The older son has to take the state wide tests...which mean nothing here. We don't even get the results until next year. Then he has to take the end of course tests, which if he doesn't pass those will determine if he can move up in his honors classes. So what the devil are the state wide tests necessary for, again? Geez - I think I'll just be my normal neglectful self and pray for June.

  2. I so completely understand. Between EOG and EOC, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'll update if we evah find that dream!

  3. I hate school. I hate projects. I hate hearing at 10 pm while their dad is sleeping; "mom, I forgot I need you to make...; I need to bring in...; I have to get ...; Rephrase that statement, it's "mom I tired and going to bed, but I just remembered I need .... will you get that for me? Great, good nite!" I'm now walking the dog for 2 hours every just so they can't find me. Shhh we're hiding around the corner till the lights are off in their rooms...


Thank you so much for commenting - it makes our day! Your comment will appear just as soon as I get the wash out, and determine that you're a real person!