Teenagers, Aliens and Zombies

I unintentionally read the most amusing article this morning. One of those flyby things that suddenly you realize you've read the whole dang thing while you didn't agree with hardly any of it. Some psycho, I mean degreed psychology professional, was suggesting that if you are in menopause, and you have teenagers, you should take the opportunity to bond with your teenagers over the changes in life you are both experiencing.
Well, freakin' knock me over - why the devil didn't I think of that? I just know my sons would love to discuss their "sexuality" and my "sexuality" and my "change of life". Uh huh - might be one way to get them to vacuum once they realize they wouldn't be able to hear me.
At least in my household, I do talk to them - when they let me. We discuss movies, and music, Anime, and books, sometimes even world events. For the record, I love "The Walking Dead", "Ghost in the Shell", "Radiohead", and "Linkin Park", the Hunger Games trilogy, and these are just a few examples of what they've introduced me to. And they love "REM", the "Beatles", "Jimi Hendrix", "Monk", and they've each read "To Kill a Mockingbird", various books on History which they adore, and watched many a special on the History channel with me.
And while we listen to music, or discuss a movie, or watch an episode of tv, if the opportunity arises to discuss what behavior or morality issues I see, then I seize it - in a very non embarrassing format.
But let's be real here. Is there a creature that is more intelligent and all-knowing than a teenager? Aliens from another planet would flee from that condescending look and tone of voice teenagers can adopt. Quickly the aliens would be forced into  recognition that this planet HAS an intelligent life form, and we don't need another, thank you very much. 
Raising teenagers is hard work. It's completely different from raising toddlers and babies, and yet at times I feel like zombies have invaded just as I did after many a sleepless night with a colicky infant. I walk in a daze and look at these tall creatures. Where did my babies go to? And why will they eat everything in sight? Is it possible to wake a sleeping teenager?
It's the best of times and the worst of times - if you're a parent you will understand. I approach my teenagers as I would an alien or a zombie - very carefully lest one of us scare the wits out of the other. But no, I'm not gonna discuss menopause with them!

Drop Kicking the Busybodies

What do you do when family members, friends, or for that matter, strangers, start to correct or discipline your children when you are standing right there? I nearly had a melt-down the other day when a complete stranger corrected my five-year-old son for saying the word “stupid.” Now, I don’t particularly care for that word and try, when using it, not to use it in reference to people. I teach my children the same practice, but sometimes things just don’t go the way you planned, no matter how good of an example you may be around children. My son came out with “That man is acting stupid, Mama,” when he witnessed a man cussing at the gas pump at our usual fill-up station. (Must have been the gas prices, but I digress.)

A lady stepped up, leaned over, and went to work on my son while we were waiting in line to pay. “Oh! You shouldn’t use that word! You could say he’s acting poorly. Doesn’t your mother tell you not to say that word? How would you feel if you were called stupid? You really need to learn better.” Aside from my temperature rising to the degree of the fires on the sun, I literally couldn’t get my jaw up off of the floor. Excuse me? Did I really just hear that happen right in front of me? By the time I gathered my wits, the lady was looking me up and down as if I was a Jerry Springer Mama. I took a deep breath, telling myself it wasn’t worth a fight and told her that I appreciated her concern and it’s always good for my son to hear from someone else exactly what I have said in the past (There was a part of me thinking; Geez! He didn't say a four letter word, it's not like he dropped the uh, queen mother of all dirty words!). I  also queried, “However, would you have permitted someone you didn’t know to correct your child while you were standing right there?”  Well, dang me for opening my mouth. She made a “Humph” noise and wrinkled up her nose like she smelled something bad and actually said I should be grateful for the help as it didn’t look like I was going to say anything, anyway. Being me, I couldn’t help myself. I laid my hands over my son’s ears and told her, with the biggest grin on my face, “Ma’am, you stepped in where you weren’t needed, asked for, or wanted, and honestly, how could you be so…(wait for it), stupid?”

The two ladies who work the counter in the store started laughing. They know me well (small town life will get you that), and have a fairly good idea of what kind of parent I am. I’m not the best or the worst, but they know I work it every day. They also knew this lady got off easy. Oh I ruffled her feathers and she left with a whole lot of muttering going on under her breath. I may have stepped right into the “lowering-yourself-to-their-level” playing field, but you don’t mess with my child right in front of me and expect to get away with it. Being football season with the Super Bowl just around the corner, she’s lucky I didn’t run the field for a major tackle. Just sayin’. Now tell me, what would you do?