You’re Just Gonna Win Sometimes, Get Over It

 By Sheilah

My morning meditation said this: "Can you accept anger, joy, hardship, love, success and failure as part of our common lot?" Yes, I think I eventually accept them all. But come on, success, really? Don’t we all accept that well? What’s so hard about that? So success is just part of our common lot as garden variety human beings? What a concept. We are destined to succeed? Huh. No more thinking we are something special, that by pulling up our bootstraps we will have the world by the tail, we will win fame and fortune and whip this world into place, ourselves at the center. No, it’s just part of the plan. Sometimes you succeed. Get used to it. Get over it.

If you’re old enough, you know that often we fail. That one gets easier to accept as you age. No more I’ll be a millionaire by the time I’m 30. No, you probably won’t. Even if you practice Steve Jobs’ seven secrets (no longer secret since last week’s “20/20”), you’re no Steve Jobs. So we naturally adjust our expectations of the world, and of ourselves. No more of the too harsh judgments on life, others or ourselves. Give everyone and ourselves a break, because we’ve aged long enough to know life breaks in your hands.

And what about when you meet with success? Do you think you deserved it, earned it, captured it by force of will? Did God destine you alone for it? Are you special? Hmmm. My reading suggests that we are destined for success (define as you will). I do believe in being positive, in going for what you want so long as you do no harm, in perseverance, and I especially believe in what I learn in the doing. I suspect the glory and wonder of reaching for a goal is the human spirit's capacity to hope, to defy all contrariness. 

Success--it’s just part of the plan, man. That’s a delicious idea to me, an infusion for a dreary gray Monday morning when a grande nonfat mocha won't do a thing for my restlessness. Yes, I'll take that challenge and try to believe that success is just another piece of the humanity berry pie. Sometimes there’s a cherry on top, sometimes it’s day old, sometimes it’s crow, sometimes humble pie. Sometimes success is just what's left. The roulette wheel of fortune can leave you spinning. Just don’t read too much into it. I don’t want to steal your thunder, but sometimes you’re just gonna win, no matter how hard you try.  

Then you spin again.

On the Tenth Day

The day that my Grandmother died my Mama received two phone calls, one from her family telling her that her Mama was gone, and the other from her son, telling her that her second grandson had been born. I don’t remember if my brother said it, or if it was my Mama, but one of them evoked the old saying, “When God closes one door, He opens another.” That is how I choose to think of September 11, 2001.

Everyone has their own story of September 11. Most can recall where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. That morning I dropped my daughter off at her Wee School and headed for the hospital, listening to CD’s while I happily anticipated the birth of our niece Courtney. When I walked down the long hallway towards the waiting area, I saw my husband walking towards me with a solemn look on his face, and I froze. I couldn’t speak and terrible thoughts sped through my mind. That was when he told me that the South Tower of the World Trade Center had fallen. I followed him, dumbfounded to the waiting room where Grandma and Papa were. We sat, numb, but still filled with hope for the birth of a child.

Over 2,985 souls perished in the attacks of September 11, 2001, and over 10,000 families in the United States welcomed into the world a new life. Courtney was born on a day and in a year that will always be synonymous with terror and (in my mind) evil. Yet on that same day, so many will celebrate life. On this Tenth Anniversary we will bow our heads and remember the victims, the heroes, the lost and the fallen, and that is how it should be. Still, we should always remember that with death comes life, out of sorrow comes joy, and sometimes, out of great despair comes hope. I bow my head, I remember, and I hope for Courtney and all the other precious miracles of life born that day.