It's a Gift - {Eyes Roll}

It's a gift. Maybe it's one our teenagers feel they could do without, but it's one I freely give - unlike time on video games which is only grudgingly granted.

I can take anything, anything, and turn it into an opportunity to lecture, err learn. We're driving down the road, and I point out another driver's flaws (trust me, I point out my own, theirs, and hubby's too - I may want to work on that side seat driving). A song comes on, and I can come up with a way to discuss the lyrics and what they really mean (except "Brown Sugar" by the Rolling Stones - I am NOT explaining to them that I didn't get that until I was in my 30's. I'm already in the stupid zone - they are teenagers.). And of course, you can't turn on the news or pick up a magazine or newspaper without the opportunities provided by Bieber, Cyrus, Kardashian, the Russians, politicians of any stripe...it's a constant.

Methinks I may be overdoing it, but one is a sophomore, and the other one is a junior, and I feel like I'm racing an hourglass set at fast.

So here's an early commencement lecture, and maybe I'll try to relax today, and just enjoy them - which is my advice to me.

Don't stay stuck - I'm talking driving. People stack up in the left lane or in the right lane. Use a signal, move to the left to pass, and move back to the right. There are exceptions - understand them. Come to think of it - it does work on politics, too. Look at each issue individually, decide, and make the appropriate moves. Don't stay stuck, not when driving, or when thinking.

Never follow the maddening crowd. It's not necessary to have the same opinions to have a friendship, and if it is, then that's not a friendship.

Become addicted - to learning, to reading, to listening, to music. If you nurture an addiction to these, then you won't need an addiction to drink, drugs, food, smokes to handle the stress of life. Nothing handles stress better then to sit, and listen to nature, sit, and love a pet, and listen to their appreciation of you, and your time, sit, and listen to God, sit, and listen to the words written in a well-written book, sit and listen to an incredibly well-crafted piece of music. There is a peace, you can find it.

When in doubt, show kindness. Sometimes kindness is an act, and sometimes it's not acting in anger. You'll figure it out.

Never decide someone is beneath you. When you do, you've just placed yourself beneath them. The People of Wal-Mart website isn't funny. It's sad. The homeless are sad. We never know the circumstances of someone else's life. The wealthy person who has it all could have had the most horrific childhood. 

Never assume someone is better then you. You are you. Be the best you possible. Never let someone else's opinion of you determine your own opinion of you. 

Always remember - you are loved. Oh, and please use your turn-signal.

Better Safe Than Sorry

I find it sadly ironic that the queen (as I consider her) of love songs has died the weekend before Valentines Day. Growing up she was always blasting out of my walkman headphones (yes, I am that old) or my car stereo. Her beautiful, soulful voice would sing words of love that uncannily seemed to reflect my current feelings for my latest romantic endeavor. She was, it seemed, there for me at every twist and turn, and the world loved her. 

Her death, of course, is surrounded in mystery. The press, like hounds chasing a fox, is following the scent of prescription drug abuse and its unfortunate outcome. If you consider this situation, it is not unlike many others that have hit our newspapers over recent years. Too many stars have gone astray. Unfortunately, these sad losses are accredited to their drug addiction because of the stresses and strains of their artistic brilliance or their failure to create long lasting relationships in an ever-demanding world. However, when it boils down to the nitty gritty they all have one thing in common -- Prescription Drugs. 

It was not that long ago that heroin or cocaine were the drugs of the moment, creating huge headlines and selling the papers like hot cakes. The drug barons of South America must be feeling the push right now and for that, I am glad. However, as always, when one door closes another opens. Unfortunately, our healthcare providers are in fact unknowingly becoming our next generation drug barons. With the advancement of medicine has come the advancement of drug availability. The very drugs that are healing us are the very drugs that are providing the path to addiction. This problem is not just one that plagues the rich and famous, it can happen to anyone and it does. 

Two years ago, I broke my back after an unfortunate accident. At the same time my young daughter was going through a breakdown, my marriage was hanging by a thread, and my father was critically ill. So naturally, I was on my last nerve. To combat my feelings of despair my doctor convinced me that an antidepressant would help. After much deliberating, I decided to take the advice and started on a round of prescriptions. Of course, the effects of the drugs did make me calmer, and they helped with my mood, but that is all they did. They masked the stresses of my life, but they did not mend it. I became afraid to stop taking them, knowing that nothing on the other side had changed. As time went on, I started to suffer side effects of the drugs. Insomnia, loss of appetite, and inability to concentrate were becoming a real problem. It was looking like I would need to take further meds to combat the effects of my so called assistance. A spiral was beginning, just like that. 

Luckily, I figured out that this FIX was just that, a band-aid on my life and the wound underneath was still there. It would never heal unless I tackled and addressed the real issues. I was not a depressive; but medically I was treated as one. I could have become one of those statistics, one of those unfortunate people who take more and more pills to cover life, a person, probably like Whitney. I got out of the cycle before it began. I am one of the lucky ones. 

Since my experience, I have spoken with people, mostly women, and discovered that this situation is an all too common one. Women going through motherhood or menopause are given a pick me up to help them, students who are finding it hard to cope away from home are given a medical crutch to lean on, and long term illness sufferers are given a smorgasbord of pills to combat their illness and it's emotional effects. Every one of these people is in danger of becoming an addict, not because they chose to take drugs for recreational use, but because they have received medical treatment.  

I am not saying that doctors are to blame for the world's addiction levels. I know that there are those out there who abuse the system knowingly, but each seed is sown from a so-called medical need. I do believe as medicine advances, quick fixes are becoming the norm, but when medicine leads to the need for more medicine then surely this is not conducive to healing. 

Those stars, like Whitney, who have taken this route have paid the price. It is not the price of fame, but the price of being human, just like you and me. I know that after my lucky escape, I will be more careful about quick fixes in the future and advise anyone to think carefully before considering the option of a pick-me-up solution to your problems.  

Stay safe and healthy!