Better Mc-Late than Never

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that the menus at most fast food joints are pretty much consistent? Burger King has the Whopper, McDonalds the Big Mac, Wendy’s has the Single, The Double and The Triple, or as I like to call it, “Get-the-defibrillator-paddles-out!” They all have fries, sweets, milkshakes and sodas. So how the heck do I always seem to get behind the individual who just doesn’t know what they want or what is on the menu? You Mc-becha’ that if I get in the drive-thru lane, I’ll be right behind Mc-I-Just-Can’t-Mc-Make-A-Decision.

Heaven help my cholesterol level! All I really want is a large diet Coke with lite ice, but the man in front of me has a glazed look in his eyes and I know I’m in trouble. Seriously, one time I was standing in line waiting for my diet Coke and a poor guy in front of me just froze. They just had to ask if he wanted a McFlurry or a McSmoothie and it threw him completely off balance. He paused and asked what flavor was the McSmoothie, then said no, then asked what other flavors they had, only to order a chicken nugget kids meal and a milk shake AND a McFlurry. It’s planned sabotage by the fast food companies.

They see the weak coming. They lie in wait for those without their lists, adults surrounded by several children, or those caught up in their own conversations. Like highly trained Special Forces they spring the question of the moment. Would you like to try our new frozen strawberry-lemonade? Huh? Would I what? And there they have you. I know I’m in deep, deep kimchee when I get behind the mega huge SUV with four-plus children. I’d drive around and go inside, but then it’s up close and personal. You can almost see the beads of sweat breaking out on faces when asked if they’d like to try a so-and-so. I could hear the cash register cha-ching from a mile away, and that’s just what the fast food industry wants. That unexpected purchase sends them up the profit hill and the mission is accomplished

It’s very similar to the candy and knick-knacks at the check-out aisle in stores. That impulse purchase gets you every time. When I see someone looking at the menu and going “um, ah, um,” I should just drive around and leave, but suddenly it’s my turn to order. Prepared as I am to get my solitary soda, they hit me with the chocolate chip cookies, and I’m Mc-done.