Grocery Shopping in the Mine Field

Well, it seems the theme continues from Evelyn’s blog, “It’s Such Hard Work…Eating Bon Bon’s.”  Tired from a full day of working both in and out of the home, I went to the grocery store at 8:30pm, after the family had been fed, watered and the kids were bunkered down for the night. I rounded the corner between the bananas and the melons and ran smack into someone, who I now believe, clearly shouldn’t be allowed to speak, ever.

“I heard all about your good news Mary! How does it feel to finally have a real job?”

Can you hear the crickets?

For a full two to ten seconds my mouth just hung open. Clearly it doesn’t take a Hilary Rosen to get it all wrong. Why Mike Rowe would have a field day following Moms around. Dirtiest Jobs would take on a whole new meaning watching cute-as-pie Mike clean up biological accidents, whether from sickness or an occasional “spill.” Ever clean a sippy cup that was stuck under the car seat for several days in 100 degree weather that had been full of milk? How about the days when everyone is sick but you? That’s what you call living it up, it’s like a day at a posh gym, the stairs have never been worked so hard! Nah, I didn’t have a real job when I was at home.

In a way, I feel sorry for that poor woman. She clearly didn’t know who she was speaking to when she congratulated me on my “real job.” I was tired, cranky, my ankles were swollen, my eyes were red-rimmed from computer work and my nose was running from the irritating scent of toilet bowl cleanser I had used earlier. She was dancing in the mine field without armor, and I lobed a grenade.

“You know Dr. Laura Schlessinger wouldn’t agree with you, she thinks working moms are just trying to have more, more things, more trinkets, more pedicures,  but then Rush thinks women who work outside the home are "Feminazi’s." Of course, writing two blogs, one essay, a column and a review every month is more of a hobby, don’t you think? That’s only after fitting in laundry, errands, band, Kung Fu (even though I’m not in a band and I can’t lift my leg to do a crane move), supper, baths and whatever else the family needs. No, work is like a vacation for me now, I get to try and fit in all of that other stuff along with “work” and go to the grocery store at 8:30 at night! Yes, I love my new “REAL” job.”  I grinned and walked away.

Clean up on aisle three.

Driving While Impaired

Being that I am now in the “outside-of-the-home” workforce, I’ve been enjoying my morning drives into work. The silence, without the company of my five-year-old sing-songing, and my teen’s angst driven responses, is like manna from heaven. I can actually complete a thought without feeling as if I’m about to have an aneurysm. I forgot how pleasant commute time can be, until yesterday. I made the mistake of turning on the radio and it seems that when my husband cleaned out the car (a gift better than roses in my book), he accidentally changed my usual station to one of the “talk radio” stations. I froze in the driver’s seat; not a good thing to do on an interstate.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger was on the air, and while I had heard of her, I had thankfully never listened to her. A lady had called in and was lamenting going back into the workforce and how it would affect her children. Dr. Laura’s response went to places that someone with doctor before their name should know better than to go. I tell you, I nearly wreaked the mini-van. The tongue lashing that dear ole Doc gave the lady was so out of the realm of reality that I thought for a moment Jersey Shore had come to radio. The gist of the tirade was, according to Dr. Laura, that moms want too much and because of that our children suffer. We would rather throw money at our children and buy them things than be responsible, and be parents. We find our work more fulfilling than raising our children, we’re selfish and we’re trading motherhood for the material world. Well dang. I tuned out, and I think the caller hung up. Here I was in my second week of work and I already had enough guilt to fill a Cathedral. I was worried about the long daycare hours for my son, not being there for my teen, and then Dr. Laura turned the screw one turn tighter.

I can’t answer for others and I won’t pit the stay-at-home-moms against the work-outside-the-home-moms. There are pitfalls to both and neither is easy. I do know I didn’t go back to work for pedicures and martini lunches, just like I didn’t stay home to eat bon-bons and watch daytime TV. There was a part of me that wondered if Dr. Laura could go shopping on my budget with coupons and keep running in the black. The vision of her pumping gas and keeping the mileage down to stay within budget had me laughing. She wouldn’t understand. Her world is too far removed from the reality of a million households. The things I want to buy my kids? Well, braces, glasses, jeans, medical appointments (even with a co-pay they add up), shoes, and, oh yeah, food. Yeppers, I’m really throwing a lot of material things at my kids.

I do agree with Dr. Laura in one respect; I DO want too much. I want my children healthy. I want them to grow up knowing that while I’d rather be with them, there were other things I had to do FOR them. I want them to know that I will always try to be responsible and take care of them, because I love them beyond all reason.  I want them to understand team work and that we all have to sometimes give up something in order to get what we need, and that having what you need is a blessing. If that’s wanting too much, I stand guilty as charged. I don’t think I’ll be taking anymore rides with Dr. Laura. I like my morning drives too much, and she’s just too dangerous for me and the other drivers around me.