Over the River, and Through the Woods to Wal Mart

It's 4 in the morning...and why do I start off sounding like a country music song? Well, because it's the holidays and here I sit finishing off another trip to the relatives. I can't help but wonder if Prince William and his Duchess will have some of the following conversations this Christmas:
"Please can we leave? Why can't your family ever buy a NEW piece of furniture? These 400 year old beds are killing my back. And just what am I supposed to buy for your grandmother? The woman has EVERYTHING. And can you tell your stepmother to stop glaring at me. I did NOT steal the tiara she wanted. I can't help it if your grandmother likes me better."
Or maybe the Prince will have his say:
"What do you mean I have to share a bathroom? If we go to my family's house, no one has to share a bathroom. Does your father really think I'm going to help out the family business? I've got enough problems with my own family business. Has he noticed the mess my father made of things?"

Hubby and I and the teen sons have been to both sides of the family so far. Not an easy task since three states are involved- the one we live in, and the two different ones they live in. So far the trips have involved sick relatives (his father, my mother and father), whiny teenagers (yes, the world revolves around you, my darlings), the realization that the transmission was messing up on my one year old car, juggling the logistics of high school marching band commitments, and our 20th anniversary was in there somewhere.

On our anniversary (which was the day before Thanksgiving), we traveled to relatives. Therefore our possibilities for celebration were somewhat limited. As the evening progressed, I found myself walking through the Wal Mart parking lot. At that point, my somewhat warped sense of humor once again surfaced, and the following conversation truly did take place:
Me (in a thick Southern drawl, my only truly good mimicking skill): "Honeeee, you sure 'nuff know how to treat a girl right on her anniversary. So far I've been to the Applebee's, the nursing home, and now I get to go to Wal Mart. I feel truly blessed."
Hubby: (in a similar drawl) "We're honorin' our heritage, babee."

Of course, we both cracked up, and now we have a new tag line. See I figured out years ago what I needed to get me through the holidays, so here's my list:

Girlfriends (it's ever so much better to share your complaints with like minded individuals)
Sense of humor (while sharing, find the humor in the adventure)
Enjoy the holiday treats
And don't say yes if you don't WANT to do it (see Martha Stewart Don't Live Here No More, I don't decorate or do it unless I want to - that's been a hard lesson to learn and absorb - still sorta a work in progress)

So how do you cope with the holidays? Got someone you call or text? A favorite treat? 'Cause it's awful hard to sleep on these 400 year old beds...