Do the Beige or the Purples Have It?

I continued my discussion on bucket lists in this month's "It's on the List" column with a spot-check inventory of stuff I’ll never do again and stuff I will do again. Being beige appears to be a surprise theme. How beige are you? Do you embrace blending in, or do you stand out? Was I too hard on the beige among us? Do you think in purple but walk in beige? What kind of cognitive dissonance does that wreak? Not behaving how I feel has its costs. Have you paid a price for being beige or purple?

How about living in a beige neighborhood? Likes, dislikes? I want to hear from the other side, those who appreciate and revel in the hoods with same-color mailboxes. A friend of mine says “It’s easier to do what everyone else is doing.” Agree?

Would you wear a Snuggie to a football game?

Are you up on all the trends?

Are you a Room Mom?

What was on your list? What’s on your “things to try” list?

An Ode to 2010...Or Not!

At the holidays, I believe that many of us of a certain age greet them no longer with that thrill and anticipation, but instead with the bittersweet memories of those we love and have lost. I wrote earlier this month about the grief elves stealing the holidays. It’s a constant battle to keep the grief elves at bay, but it’s important to embrace what the holidays mean to you, and embrace the joy, the love, the peace. This year I have been blessed to have peaceful moments with my Daddy. He has never been an easy man to love, but that never stopped the love from being there. I have also been blessed to see my closest, dearest friend, the sister I did not receive from my parents, through a very scary moment in life. That my Daddy trusts me now and can finally show me that he loves me, that my closest friend wants me and her husband there when life could have truly turned on a dime, how blessed have I been. If you have had a roller coaster of a year, I pray for you, for peace and for a recognition of blessings when they present themselves. And to each of you, I pray for love, hope, and happiness.
So to 2010 I bid a somewhat fond farewell. You reminded me that life is a constant jumble of good and bad, happy and sad. You provided more proof to the tired old adage that the sad helps us appreciate the good, and that sometimes a good cry, a talk with a friend and a really large bar of chocolate can all really, really help. You gave me my friend, reminded me that these men love me (hubby, Daddy, sons, brothers), and that by helping my children, I really help myself. My resolution is to remember all of this through the year, and to try to eat a smaller bar of chocolate. How has your year been? Are you happy or sad to see it go?

'Tis the Season...For Full-Contact Shopping

By Laurie Decker, guest blogger

Ever notice how shopping becomes more of an adventure around this time of year? Now I don’t mean just the longer lines at the post office and check-outs at your local grocers. Nor the flash mobs, nor just plain mobs at the malls.

I’m talking about the kind of full-contact tactics that crop up as you traverse just about any retail outlet.

For instance…

The other day, I was going down the aisle of my grocers in one of their handicapped courtesy scooters (my knees don’t work well for long periods of use) and I noticed that as I continued down the aisle, one shopper was pacing me with her cart. I stopped. She stopped right beside me.  I started up again, and she was right there. I repeated this a couple more times on the tried-and-true theory that once is a fluke, twice is coincidence, but three times MAY be enemy action. I finally looked up at her until I got her attention and said, “Excuse me, but you may not be aware. This is not a competition and there’s no prize for beating me in this race.” She harrumphed and pushed on ahead to the end of the aisle.

A couple of aisles further along my route, I encountered a woman who, well, let me put it this way; I’ve seen less gifted guarding from NBA professionals.  As I neared a shelf that had an item I wanted, she would scoot down directly in front of it and stand there, studying the various items as though she were taking inventory. I waited politely until it became ridiculously apparent that I knew what she was doing, and so did she. I swear I was waiting for her to put her arms out and bend her knees into one of those basketball crouches I’ve seen the players use when they’re trying to keep someone from making a shot for the hoop.

I’m fortunate I don’t have children to buy toys for. I shudder to think what sorts of tug-of-wars erupt at Toys R Us.  I make it a point to stay as far away from that department at Wal-Mart as possible, this time of year.  In fact, I don’t set foot in a Wal-Mart from Black Friday through New Year’s Day if I have any other option available to me; though I do draw the line at ordering that gallon of milk online for convenient home delivery – for only four times in shipping what the milk cost in the first place!

Hmm…I wonder if this game is taken to a higher level for the upper-crusts who shop at those chi-chi, ultra-expensive toy boutiques in NYC, Chicago and Los Angeles. I have a vision of well-heeled shoppers sipping “gingerbread” martinis and nibbling on haute cuisine holiday noshes by world-renowned chefs flown in especially for the season while their live-in-nannies duke it out in the aisles over the last Diamond Barbie co-designed by De Beers (an absolute steal at $85,000), or the Junior Off Roader (comes complete with: all weather fiberglass body with a protective frame, dual hydraulic disk brakes, rack and pinion steering, manual emergency brake, full front and rear suspension, front and rear suspension, three speed transmission, radio and CD player with speakers on the side doors) for a mere $40,000.  Oh, and just so you know, to celebrate the 125th anniversary of the Teddy Bear a German company created a limited edition of 125 bears of which the mouth is made of solid gold and the eyes of sapphires and diamonds. That’s gotta be a “must have!”  Yeah, I’d definitely be willing to let my nanny have a concussion if I could secure that for my little Speed Racer. But I digress. (Fun though.)

So why all the confrontational consumerism? I blame it on the era in which we are living. (Cue the band! “Aquarius” if you please, ladies and gentlemen…) 

‘Cause it’s the age of entitlement! Age of entitle-ment! En-TITLE-ment! En-TI-tlement!

Me and mine deserve the best, and the first, and the only one left.  And everything in between if that’s what I decide.

Ah, the spirit of the season! Right. Whatever happened to it? Must have gotten left behind in the trunk of the Junior Off Roader.

The Siren Call of Electronics at the Holidays

So with all the frigidly cold weather, has anyone else been concerned about the possibility that hell really is freezing over? I have definitive proof that it is freezing over and that proof was provided to me by my Momma. If you read the essay I wrote "No More Electronics In This House " than you saw that Momma considers electronics to be a royal pain in the tush. Well yesterday, she asked me to read her the blog. I did and then she made the comment "I guess everybody reads the computer now a days." Being the good Southern girl that I am (sometimes, anyway), I simply replied. "Yes, Ma'am." Now for the proof. Her next words, and I swear on a stack of Christmas cookies (I think there are still some upstairs) that this is true, "Well, you never know, I just might have you go get me a laptop next time you come." WOW! The siren call of electronics...you just never know who it might hit next. Now I wonder if I can get her on Facebook and if she'll accept my friend request, and hit the Like button on the 4gaby page? She might enjoy some World War II video games. Wonder if she'd like an Ipod? She might be a little too long winded for texting though...

What do you think of electronics? Love them and you're lusting after an Ipad, or you hate them all? Do you think video games allow for a little peace in the house or do you spend too much time making the kids get off the darn things? I'll be honest - I love the things, just love 'em.

Don't Let the Grief Elves Steal the Holidays

Possibly the most touching card I will ever receive, with the exception of the handmade ones from our children, had my own signature on it. Now, I'm not the kind to send myself a card, and this was not an exception. Actually a friend had scanned in a card we had sent her fiancee a few years back and sent it to us with a note. We lost this dear man this year and she wanted us to know that he had treasured that card. The holidays can be so hard. Too many expectations, plus too little time or money equals disappointment (what - no diamonds, again? Really, dear!). But for anyone dealing with grief - fresh or not - the holidays can become a constant reminder of loss. Maybe it's that decoration given to you or the tradition that someone always participated in, or maybe it's just the absence of the presence of that person you love. I've lost several people the last few years though I'm blessed to still have my husband, my children, my parents, and more people I love than I can possibly name here. But the losses have brought with them a deeper empathy for others and their losses. It can be difficult to find joy, but in the memories there can also be a comfort, and in the sharing comes a peace and remembrance. So share with others how you feel and you may be surprised at the love you receive back. At the holidays, try not to let the grief elves steal the holidays from you...certainly not while the carb elves are busy stealing my waistline. And for Jim - GO VOLS!