And to All, a Good Night

"Is it finally over?"
"It's over, Momma. Now it's straight."
"Well, thank goodness!"

So let me back up. If you read my last blog, then you saw that we were having a bit of a problem with the gub'ment. Seems they accidentally showed Momma's Medicare as being terminated effective 01/01/2014. Seems like a fairly easy problem to fix. Just confirm that the cancellation form is not on file, that her premiums have been paid on time, and correct it.

Yeah - cause Santa Claus is bringing me that Mercedes with the gull-wing doors I always wanted....stuff always works out the way you want it...uh-huh.

But I am thrilled to follow up, and say, IT IS FIXED. It only took from November 6th until yesterday, December 17th, and contacting the following agencies:
Medicare
Medicare Advanced Resolution
Social Security Administration
Railroad Retirement Bureau
Social Security Administration - two different local offices
Her former employer she retired from
Her former employer's benefits administration group
The insurance carrier
The state insurance commissioner's office
Her congressman
Her senator
Her senator-elect

And don't think each of these was limited to only one phone call apiece. Formal complaints were filed through four different agencies (I think - may be more.)

In fact when the congressman's office got involved, I faxed them TWENTY-SIX pages of documentation I had already accumulated.

But yesterday, Momma got the call we had been working towards. She has been retroactively reinstated. She will be reimbursed for the out of pocket expenses incurred while this went on. And the following part of the call cracked us up - "We are so sorry you went through this. Would you mind calling your daughter, and tell her that it is fixed, and that we apologized?"

Or as my hubby interpreted it - 'Hey, call that bulldog you gave birth to, and tell her to back off of us, please.' (On a side note - he appreciates that I do not use that character trait on him - normally.)

Shakespeare had it wrong. The line should read - Hell hath no fury like a woman whose loved one has done been wronged.

Because I believe in giving credit - huge kudos to her local office of Social Security Administration, to my contact in her benefits administration group, to United Health Care Social Media who took the ball, to the person in Medicare's Advanced Resolution area, and to her congressman. 

To anyone going through this, my best advice is this:
1) Don't believe anyone until you get the same answer multiple times
2) Feel free to go on a multi-pronged attack
3) Document, document, document - date, time, length of call, a name if possible
4) Pray

Now, I'm off to research the cost of a Mercedes with gull-wing doors. After all, we weren't sure I could ever get this fixed, much less an apology so obviously I'm on a roll.

Good night!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions....Welcome to the Circus

So I'm one of those Mom's. The selfish ones who don't quite make every event that their child is in or volunteer at every opportunity. Tonight is our older son's first ever performance in marching band. He's doing quite well with it. In fact most of the complaints and whines have been mine ("How much money?, "What times are practices?", "Quick, who knows how many traffic lights are between us and the high school?", and "I hate a car pool lane.") Usually those statements are a touch more umm, verbose. What can I say? I love a good whine.

But my life, like so many of us, is a constant juggling act between the kids, and my parents needs. Of course throw in there the house, hubby, work, the never ending yard work, and there you have it, a 16 ring circus complete with juggling and the high wire. 

My Daddy is in the hospital and I am worried. No two ways about it. So I'm sitting here with the "do I stay or do I go" syndrome. If I stay, then I get to see my child perform in the marching band for the first time ever - which I so badly want to do. And I'm already planning on going next weekend which means I'll miss his first time in uniform. If I go, then I can't go next weekend, and will I be able to do everything I need to get done at their house this weekend? Probably not. Plus we have plans for the weekend - which makes me seem selfish.

In between all that someone always seems to "charitably" notice my absences or when I decline to help at an event. It's so very helpful when someone tells me that their life is complicated, too. Especially when I don't remember trying to make it a competition. I even once heard that if going stresses me out so much than I just shouldn't go. Uh huh - to me that really smacks of selfish. I not so charitably have decided they are the chattering monkeys in the circus. They are focused on their own lives (rightly so), but never give credence to your own complications.

As I sit here writing this, I suddenly get inspiration from the Disco channel, yeah, I said DISCO. Sister Sledge is singing "We Are Family" and the lines, "Have faith in you and the things you do" goes past me and then sinks back into my heart. Every day we all make decisions and juggle and hope for the best and all I can do is have faith while I ignore the chattering monkeys and try to juggle in the circus. Please tell me I'm not the only one with the chattering monkeys, guilt and juggling act!

Down the Long and Lonely Highway

In just a few short hours, I will have our sons loaded up and hit the road. It's time for our monthly pilgrimage to my parents. I'm always vaguely amused when I return and run into acquaintances who ask if I enjoyed myself. When the boys were younger I was often asked if I got a break by heading there. Uh, no. I've written a couple of times about what we are facing. Daddy has dementia.

As is my way, I will try to find something amusing in the trip. Dark humor is my friend. Sarcasm is my constant accompanist. So I'll roll my eyes at some fifty something road warrior who is trying to text and drive on the interstate and come up with some something to say. I'll sit there and patiently pretend to have not heard the same story a gazillion times while in my mind, I do my checklist. "Has he said this yet? What about that story? Ah, there it is." Give him his Father's Day card early. He won't remember that he didn't get it on Father's Day. Shoot, that's because he won't remember he got it. The boys will stay up all night watching tv and I'll just ignore that. Hey, they're supposed to get to do what they want to at their grandparents, right? Does it matter that I'm there? Nope. This trip we're throwing in a side trip to the old hometown. So I get to visit with even more elderly relatives. But at my age, it's nice to be the young'un and I especially love how they all tell me how little I still am (keep in mind that all things are in relation to them). No trip is complete without the trip to the cemetery.  Good thing I got that Ancestry.com membership. We need someplace to load up the pictures to that will appreciate my skill at taking a picture of a gravestone.

Through all of this our teen sons will show a calmness and compassion that humbles me. They will take Daddy to the restroom and make sure he doesn't lose his way, while pretending that they were the ones who needed to go. They understand the need for dignity.

I ran into someone who told me that some people think she's cold but she had never really experienced helping the aged. Her parents were both dead by the time she was in her mid-twenties and her grandparents had long been gone before then. While it briefly flickered through me how much less complicated my life would be, what really stayed in my soul was the thought of how much less I would have been. I've developed a strength and compassion that I never knew I had in me. Not to mention the driving skills of a short haul trucker.

Someone else once told me that if it stressed me out so much then I just shouldn't go. But that smacks of a selfishness that I always knew I didn't have in me. And it does stress me out - before I go and after I return. But while I'm there, it doesn't stress me out at all. When I read essays such as the one our guest columnist, Jim Zisa wrote this month, "The Profundity of Moment" , when I consider how much my dear friend Mary would love to call her Mama and chat, but can't because she's gone, or think of how much another dear friend would have loved to share her beautiful girls college graduations with her parents, well, I'll climb right into that SUV and make my way on down the road. There is a grace to the time spent with love. So I'll come back a little worse for wear, but better for spirit. Shouldn't life be about doing what is hard? Doesn't love come with hardship?

Bad Enough I Gotta Pay Bills...

So it really sucks to pay bills...right? Can I get an AMEN here? But really, can I go a whole month without having to call somebody and straighten out the bill they sent me? Forget a month, I think if I could go a week it might qualify for some kind of miracle designation. And if I could go a week without getting ready to cuss out some unknown person, sitting in an unknown land, I would probably move up to the top of the list for beatification, and all that. If you read my essay, "I've Been to Korea Three Times Today and the Banana Puddin' was Great", you know that I have elderly parents. I've taken over all their bill paying, checkbook functions, and all of that stuff which of course makes sense since I have that little ole Accounting degree thingy. Just wouldn't make sense to hand that over to my "much handier with a toolbox" brothers, and expect me to fix the handrails or install new locks. But now that I handle two households, the likelihood that I will be put on a hit list by some unknown customer service person has more than doubled. Just this week, I had to straighten out a dental visit for our kids (don't mystery charge me), and an ambulance company (umm, you need to file my Daddy's insurance for his insurance to like, ya know, pay it). Certain truths have emerged:

If they don't itemize - there's a reason for that and you need to find out why. Sometimes they've hidden something in there that you didn't need to pay.

If they insist that they will send you to a collection agency - and it's the first bill you've received - politely tell them to "bite me" and continue to make sure you really owe it.

Never assume that a bill which shows the insurance as being processed was processed properly. If you don't think you should owe that much...there's an incredibly darn good chance you don't, and somebody just messed up processing it. Check the details.

Call for a better deal. If they want to keep your business, they will keep your business.

Do not assume that every bill is legitimate. There are a lot of scams out there that present very authentic looking bills. Don't be afraid to google 'em and shred. It makes great packing material.

Never, never be hesitant to call. And while you're visiting that unknown, foreign land, the one their customer service rep is currently sitting in, eat some banana pudding. The stuff is really, really good and I hear bananas have lots of potassium. Which I also hear is really, really good for blood pressure. All that banana pudding is probably the only thing standing between me and the customer service rep's hit list.

Do you have some stories about wrong bills? Can you keep your cool when they are so screwed up or does it make you want to blow your top? What bills have been the worst (medical, dental, cable, satellite, phone, cell phone...)? Share your stories with us, because believe me I've got plenty to share back!

The Siren Call of Electronics at the Holidays

So with all the frigidly cold weather, has anyone else been concerned about the possibility that hell really is freezing over? I have definitive proof that it is freezing over and that proof was provided to me by my Momma. If you read the essay I wrote "No More Electronics In This House " than you saw that Momma considers electronics to be a royal pain in the tush. Well yesterday, she asked me to read her the blog. I did and then she made the comment "I guess everybody reads the computer now a days." Being the good Southern girl that I am (sometimes, anyway), I simply replied. "Yes, Ma'am." Now for the proof. Her next words, and I swear on a stack of Christmas cookies (I think there are still some upstairs) that this is true, "Well, you never know, I just might have you go get me a laptop next time you come." WOW! The siren call of electronics...you just never know who it might hit next. Now I wonder if I can get her on Facebook and if she'll accept my friend request, and hit the Like button on the 4gaby page? She might enjoy some World War II video games. Wonder if she'd like an Ipod? She might be a little too long winded for texting though...

What do you think of electronics? Love them and you're lusting after an Ipad, or you hate them all? Do you think video games allow for a little peace in the house or do you spend too much time making the kids get off the darn things? I'll be honest - I love the things, just love 'em.