25 Senseless Sick-abilities

I can’t honestly remember the last time I lost an entire week to being sick. I’ve missed work, missed my children, and missed out on all my household duties…gosh darn. I found that being lost in a fog of fever and rib crushing coughing brings with it some of nuttiest diversions/delusions.

1.   Listening to your children argue while consumed with fever is like watching a Tim Burton movie, it’s all dark and dismal but sounds better if you delude yourself that Johnny Depp is there.

2.   I can fall asleep during all the episodes of Law and Order, wake up five minutes before the end and still tell you the story line.

3.   I have slept through 20 or more episodes of Law and Order this week.

4.   Daytime TV scares me.

5.   Dr. Phil has apparently been on the Rodeo Circuit. He keeps saying this isn’t his first Rodeo.

6.   Dr. Phil scares me. How’s that working for ya?

7.   I don’t understand The View. I can’t hear what the “view” is; they all talk over each other.

8.   Cable rules.

9.   Sense and Sensibility still makes sense when sick. 

10.  Emma Thompson is my hero. 

      

11.  One should never watch soppy-period-love stories, and cry when they can’t breathe in the first place. But OH! Willoughby! You know what I’m talking about.

12.  I am losing weight.

13.  I will gain it all back as soon as I am well.

14.  I want to keep losing weight but I want to be well.

15.  Reading Stephen King cured my fever. I broke out in a major sweat.

16.  You discover that your body can do more than one thing at a time when you have violent coughing spasms.

17.  I scared my family while coughing.

18.  Watching Comedy Central is great, until you laugh, which leads to coughing, which scares the family.

19.  Showers are seriously underrated.

20.  Dexter and I have become close friends.

21.  NetFlix is dangerous. 

22.  The Walking Dead is suddenly so cliché. I have a fever right?

23.  The couch looks pretty good as a place to spend days on end.

24.  We may need to burn the couch.

25. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

These sick abilities are truly senseless!

Three Apples

On Wednesday, October 5, 2011, every news organization was reporting of the death of Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple and the mastermind behind the iPod, iTunes, iPad and iPhones. The President of the United States even commented on his death saying “The world has lost a visionary, and there may be no greater tribute to Steve’s success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented.”  My own husband told me about Steve Jobs passing away after he read it on his iPhone.

I’m one of those people that I consider “technically challenged.” I don’t care much for a lot of what modern technology has brought us. I don’t like to talk on the phone while I drive, while I’m shopping or while I’m trying on clothes in a store. There have been several times when I’ve said “Pardon me?” to the lady in the next dressing room because I thought she was speaking to me, when she was on her cell phone. Some of the technology leaves me feeling intruded upon. There are nonsensical text messages that for some reason, others expect me to answer immediately, regardless of the fact that I’m elbow deep in dish detergent. That said, I’d still be lost without these modern conveniences.

My iPod is my therapy, my juke box, and my entire collection of what soothes or moves me. I have the iPod Classic and it has 160 GB, that means that I have room for up to 40,000 songs, 200 videos or 25,000 photos. Hmmm, maybe I’m learning about all this technology anyway. At night, when I head to bed, I grab our iPad and either read myself to sleep, or watch something on Netflix. When I had surgery to remove a tumor last year, the iPad saved me from the never ending mundane of the hospital bed. I think I watched around 25 episodes of “The Tudors” and found myself lost in a world of magnificent costumes and bloody Henry the Eight’s lust. With that iPad, I wasn’t in an institutional grey-white room with alarms and 5am interns barging in on the little sleep I got. The iPad saved my sanity during that period of time.

I didn’t know Mr. Jobs. There are many reports that, where he excelled as an innovator and visionary in technology, he had short comings in dealing with the people around him. In spite of that, he did more for many, making the information hiway hand held, giving us music on the go that could fit in a small pocket, phones that help one navigate through life, and showed us that a dream could become a vision for the masses. No, I didn’t know Mr. Jobs, but I can walk into a room and tell you who is benefiting from his vision. I saw a quote on Facebook the other day (on the iPad, of course), that said “There have been three apples that have changed the world. Eve’s, Newton’s, and Steve Jobs’.” With that, Goodnight Mr. Jobs, and I thank you.