By Sheilah
I’m thinking my son might make a good detective or a writer.
His detailed description of Old Salem was telling in what he focused on.
“I was expecting all old houses and dirt roads, but NOOOO,
there were air conditioners outside every house, cars on the streets, ‘No Parking’
signs, ‘45 Minute Only Parking’ signs, posters on every house…(he’s sounding
personally affronted about now)….The least realistic was the print
shop--because they had a volunteer dressed in fancy Nancy clothes. ‘Fancy
Nancy? I say.’ Well her name was Nancy. (LMAO here.) There was another
volunteer named Britt who talked like this: ‘I will now show you how to dye and
make a paper something’… (spoken in dry monotone—he’s a ham, my son)… Because
it’s like a print shop, in the 1700s. You don’t see those very often. So I
think they just made up that they had a print shop in the 1700s. It had a
machine that said built in 1891. Back then it wouldn’t have even been …Old Salem
wouldn’t have bought something of that price.”
He returned with a box of ginger cakes that he loves, a
wooden bookmark, a small bag made of rabbit skin with 2 souvenier pennies and 2
wax ants and a pin. I was admiring the ants, talking about how cool that he had
a real something not plastic made in China, when he says, nope, they have China
stamped on their butts. Dammit. Old Salem imports.
All kids naturally do what Dylan did, see what he saw (I
hope)--that’s why they say the darnedest things. They see what’s here and now
in front of them, all is new and curious and like other things, hence they’re
naturally metaphoric. To recapture that awakeness to a new world, to see
through a child’s eyes—that’s why I write. It is a strange and curious and
beautiful and scary world in its awesomeness, one to not let my eyes brush over
or close on. When I’m once again dulled and beaten by the harshness of life, I
have to see anew. Religion, spirituality, exercise, new love, birth, death,
pain, music, art—all these things can bring us back to the point of seeing anew.
What wakes you?
Will cave in on him by
and by.
--From Edna St.Vincent Millay’s “Renascence”
It’s the first anniversary of Mom’s death today. I know a
mother’s love because I had one, and because I feel it for my son. It is
divine, bigger than we are, and it must, it must, make us know God. When it’s
gone, I don’t know what that means, but I’m left feeling that now, now, now and
forevermore I don’t have anyone to take a bullet for me.
Down, down, down into
the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
--from “Dirge Without Music,” Edna
St.Vincent Millay
The feeling I will never be loved so completely, no matter what I may do. Yes, a mother's love. And I cried.
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