Only 76 Hours of HGTV and I’m All Out of Duct Tape

By Sheilah Zimpel

I’m back to only working about 3 nights a week, thank God, so I can see my son. But suddenly it’s as if I have all the time in the world while he’s at school, and as I wrote in last month’s blog, that means project time. I didn’t want school to start because it meant by default that I’d have to do things. But then I had 3 days off in a row and immediately hit Lowe’s, a gal’s best friend. I spend more money there than on shoes any day of the week.

It all started with laying hardwood in the living room, and that led to pulling the old tile off the fireplace and laying new slate tiles, which started with laying slate on the hearth, and that led to finding an old cedar log for the mantle, and that was all done last month. So the new slate tile squares are up, and they look awesomely rustic and modern at once. According to HGTV, my style is mod rustic. Uh huh. That’s right. I’m a country girl wannabe in a mod world. I think it means I like tree stumps painted silver, which is true. Got the scoop on how to make my own. Next week.

So I picked up some paint for the front room, which is supposed to be a dining room but doesn’t realize it. It’s had an identity crisis since we moved here 6 years ago. It was the only room I hadn’t painted because I loved the shade of plum, but it needed to go, so I painted the entire walls a silvery-grey, even the white wainscoting. Looks fabulous, bigger, brighter, and mod. I’ll throw a few tree branches in there for my rustic side, maybe a bug or two.

Then I found a modern glass desk off Craigslist for the man, who’d decided to make that room his office, which meant, of course, that I needed to chrome duct-tape an old antique radio stand. Seriously—this is the effect of overwatching HGTV for the 2 days of painting. It’s the only thing I watch if the TV is on during the day, other than “Phineas and Ferb” with Dylan (and sometimes without—that show is funny). Yes, I duct-taped a table. Did you know Target sells turquoise, leopard, and chrome duct tape now?

But I must say I was sick of HGTV after so many hours of listening, and I never thought I’d say that. But I was ready to duct tape those damn perky designers’ mouths shut.