by Mary Alford-Carman
There are times when your children ask questions that you are ill-prepared to answer. My daughter recently asked why some people are unmarried but have children. I took a deep breath and hoped that I handled the question the best way possible. There are so many awkward moments that come up when you’re raising a child, like the night my daughter asked me what “gay” was. My husband was in the next room on the computer, happily typing away, and when he heard her, all went silent. He never joined in the conversation and I knew he would rather leave the explanation to me.
What are some awkward moments you’ve had with your children? How did you handle it? If given the chance, would you change the way you did? I could always use some good advice here!
Ahh, awkward...hmm, there was the time that my son "taught" his friends some correct anatomical names for certain body parts only so I could realize that not everyone agreed with that. That was fun. Now that they are teenaged boys, I get asked nothing. They've already developed that 'if we don't talk about it, then maybe she won't' technique of most men.
ReplyDeleteI tell mine the truth, age appropriate but the truth. First I try to see what they know on the topic, gives me a chance to clear up any misconceptions. Then I ask them what do they want to know. We've talked about all kinds of issues and things. What I won't do is lie to them. They need to know I tell them the truth, even if it's not so nice to hear but that they can trust me to be honest with them. Mainly I don't think children want all the detail...thus why I feel them out as to what their question really is...and we work from there.
ReplyDeleteThey live in a world were they see and hear all kinds of things...and where they will be offered all kinds of things.
I want them to know they can talk to me about any of it, any time. They also know I have a right to get upset but that I'll calm down and work through the problem with them.
Discussion is not a "free pass". But by being honest we can probably find our way through many things.
Plus I was so old when I became a parent, I have no shame nor secrets left. I don't think I do them favor's by coloring their world. Yet, I take it at their pace. But I'm honest and sometimes will say, this is enough for now, we'll talk about this more later when you're a bit older and want more details.
I let them know of mistakes I've made, things I've done, and hurts...plus all the rest. I'm human not some "super person" so high above them that they can never reach me. I'm just right there with them.